"Again?" Last summer?" I remind Sarah. "When your mum met my parents and you saidI should go down to meet them as Nikki? I very nearly did." This time,it's Sarah's turn to start crying, and my turn to hug her."I'm sorry," I whisper in her ear."No," Sarah whispers quietly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Atleast, not from May the sixteenth, you won't. I love you, Nikki." I love you, Sarah," I quietly whisper back.The following day I'm woken up at 7am by my mum coming into my room witha whole armful of presents and cards. It may sound silly, but when I wasyoung I was even jealous of girls' birthday cards. Mine would always havecars and footballers on them, whilst girls would have ballerinas andprincesses on theirs- all the things I wanted in my life."Happy sixteenth birthday!" Mum enthuses to my still-groggy form."Thanks, mum," I say, trying to hide behind my tiredness the fact thatI'll no doubt be disappointed that all my presents won't contain what Ireally want. Don't get me. Sometimes though it was extremely sad. You go in one morning and a child that had seemed lively and friendly the previous day wasn't there and, after the first time, you knew better than to ask what happened.Almost on the last day of my suspension, I went into town with Su Lee and met Ben and got invited to another party at the weekend. I was in two minds as to going but that day a little girl I'd played with for weeks suddenly was missing and I knew it wasn't because she'd gone home. I was very depressed over it so I decided to go but I had no intention of taking any E or anything else. I didn't give Ben a definite answer because I didn't want Su Lee to know either. Of course I knew my keeper would not agree to it but I wasn't about to tell him. I just asked for some money to buy a new pair of jeans. Unfortunately one of the group asked Su Lee if she was coming with me because we were always together these days, but I didn't know that until later.I left home early, pleased that I'd.
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